There are a lot of people giving and taking advice.
In person and online – there are many seeking the opinions of others. This is nothing new. The prevalence of people seeking advice is actually a takeaway from my recent read-through of the book of Esther. Many of the key plot developments are a direct result of counsel being sought or given. Here are a few examples…
Seeking advice in Esther
In Chapter 1, Queen Vashti’s refusal to attend King Xerxes’ banquet prompts him to seek advice from his wise men. They advise King Xerxes to banish his wife forever, and in his enraged and drunken state he heeds their words. Then, in chapter 2 verse 1, the text hints that Xerxes may have regretted such a rash decision, so he seeks more input from his personal attendants, who encourage him to put on an enforced beauty contest to find a new wife. Again, he listens to their advice.
But it isn’t just King Xerxes taking counsel from others. Esther heeds the wisdom of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, on how to please the king. She also listens to her uncle Mordecai and conceals her Jewish identity and, though it takes some persuading, she enters the inner court of the king at great risk to herself to save her people – also on Mordecai’s advice. Even the fact that the Jews were being threatened with destruction is the result of Haman’s advice to King Xerxes (3:8-9).
Haman too seeks wisdom in community. Sulking after Mordecai refuses to bow yet again, he asks his wife and friends to help him think it through. They are the ones who suggest impaling Mordecai, which pleases Haman greatly. They are also the ones who predict Haman’s downfall when he again consults them after he is forced to lead Mordecai in honour around the citadel.
From beginning to end, Esther is full of advice being sought and given.
Reflections on seeking advice
As other parts of Scripture affirm, seeking counsel from others is generally a very good thing to do. Proverbs 12:15 affirms that “the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
However, the book of Esther throws a few spanners in the works. Esther forces us to face the reality that who we seek advice from really matters. For some people, accepting advice and instruction in community leads to good. For others, accepting advice and instruction in community leads to destruction.
In our 21st century world, how can we discern which communities will encourage our flourishing in Christ, and which will lead us astray?
Advice for those seeking (or giving) advice
Here are a few ways Esther has instructed me in this area:
- There are many people who are willing to give advice. As we’ve already seen, Esther showcases a plethora of people who are happy to share their opinions, and the same is true in our day. The internet has given a platform to anyone who wants one, and advice on just about every topic is only a few clicks away. We cannot listen to them all. Decisions need to be made.
- Who we listen to matters. As Esther demonstrates, who we turn to for input can have significant consequences. In this digital age, it is far easier to consult a stranger on the internet when we need a bit of advice, because it requires far less vulnerability – and it’s often much faster! But they are often just that – a stranger. Someone whose true character, motivations and daily walk we do not know, no matter how relatable they try to make themselves. And a stranger cannot know us or our situation. Online, we may be minded to listen to those who support us. It takes a real friend, who knows us deeply and is walking alongside us carefully, to know when it is right to challenge our heart and point out where our lives are going astray or encourage us to keep going against the flow.
- What kind of people we are matters for those we advise. It matters who we are when we have the opportunity to speak into people’s lives. We need to be people who are walking with the Lord, pointing people to him and his word as we grapple together with how to live rightly in a complicated world. Wisdom ultimately comes from the Lord – it is spiritual wisdom that people need, not ours.
- God’s common grace is still at work. In Esther, the pagan eunuch Hegai knew the inner workings of the palace and the way to the king’s heart. He proved immensely helpful to Esther as she navigated what must have felt like a foreign world. Hegai’s presence in the book of Esther reminds us that even strangers on the internet can give good advice, but his personal knowledge of Esther and her situation also underscores that it is still better to move towards people who do actually know us and our context when seeking input.
- God can overrule. Haman’s wife and friends gave him utterly wicked advice to impale Mordecai. Wicked advice sits on the end of a spectrum of unwise input – sometimes the counsel we receive (or give) is foolish or ignorant, or perhaps naïve or unintentionally unhelpful. Esther gives us hope that God can overrule unhelpful advice and still bring about good, as we see him bring good by the very means that others hoped would destroy Mordecai. If you’ve ever taken advice you’ve come to regret, or find yourself mourning over how you’ve advised others, take heart. It may be appropriate to offer an apology, but God was and still is in control and can sweep even your foolish advice into his unfolding plan of redemption.
I’m aware of the irony of writing this blog post – as you read, you’re taking in the words of a stranger – unless you’re one of my personal friends or family (Hi Aunt Miranda – I appreciate you reading every post I write!). As I’ve written already, even strangers on the internet can give sound advice! But whilst there is good counsel in the world, there is even better to be had from prayerful people who truly know God, truly know us and our situation, and who will seek to faithfully point us to the wisdom of God in Scripture.
Next time you’re looking for a bit of advice, why not pause before googling and consider whether there’s a trusted individual in your own personal community who might love to help think and pray with you?
