I was sitting on a flight back from a speaking engagement, eating my small packet of complementary salted corn, and it occurred to me there was much for which to praise God. Not just an encouraging time with brothers and sisters in Christ but a more personal story of sanctification too. As a teen, I became terrified of flying – in my twenties and thirties I avoided airports with a passion. Even the sight of a plane in the sky would send shivers down my spine. Booking a ticket would induce a panic attack and many sleepless nights.
Over the years things have changed – I look forward to flying now. I don’t do it that often (there isn’t a need) but when I do, I love take off, rising through the clouds, and seeing city lights shining beneath. I’m definitely more of a fan of window than aisle. I’ll admit I’m not a massive fan of turbulence (who is?) – and there are moments when hanging around in an overcrowded airport lounge can be a bit of a bore – but, overall, it’s an opportunity to relax. And it’s a wonderful way to get to gospel partners within a few hours rather than travelling all day.
There has been a significant change in my life. And I am not alone – many people know the joy of overcoming a fear like flying. But what makes the difference? Here are a few thoughts – that may be an encouragement if you, or a friend, are facing a similar fear.
- Acknowledging the problem. Plenty of people choose not to fly. But those of us scared of flying don’t choose not to fly, we can be enslaved to a fear of flying that often nudges us to run from the very idea. That dark reality needs to come into the light. There is no dodging the fact – our hearts have a problem. For all of us, a simple statement of “I am chained by this fear – and that is not where I want to be, that is not where God wants me to be” can be a useful first step.
- Being attentive to the body. Many of us can be so practiced at being scared of flying that panic rises automatically whenever planes are mentioned. Physical calming may be a necessary step. We can learn to breathe deeply, ground carefully – all things we can put into practice should we ever try getting on a flight. We are embodied souls – learning how to calm our bodies is a useful skill.
- Fuelling the mind. Fear of flying courses can be a useful step. Learning what the beeps are about – discovering that, when a plane is turning, it’s not actually at the 45 degree angle we may have assumed it was – going on a very short flight with one trained pilot in the cockpit and another with the passengers talking us through everything that is happening can be illuminating. Understanding is so much better than imagining what’s going on. Discovering that some of the sensations I could feel were down to noise abatement, rather than emergency manoeuvring, helped me feel those movements with a sense that this was part of loving my neighbour well.
- Remembering the Lord. When scared, we can treat the Lord very far from the loving Father he is. Maybe we bargain with him – or try to impress him with our confessions and pacify him with our promises of service. That is not how our loving Lord wants us to relate to him. Instead, we can dwell afresh on who he is: our loving Father who has promised to be with us and lead us through the paths he sovereignly chooses. One particular image was that of the Lord’s “everlasting arms” underneath me. It’s a metaphor than stuck. If you are struggling, maybe find a metaphor that helps you see God’s character and activity more clearly – and cling on to that while in the air.
- Turning to the Lord. As we begin to see God aright, we can begin to relate to him differently. Instead of a heart of fear and manipulation, we can come to him in an attitude of increasing trust. We can change our prayers from “Lord – get me out of this flight” or “Father – please keep the plane in the air if …” to, “Father, I don’t know what the future holds but I know you – and I will follow you through whatever paths you lead. Thank you for the pilots, the cabin crew and ground team – thank you for their expertise and training – help them to do their jobs well. And help me to trust you to do your job well. My all is in your hands and that is enough for me”.
- Turning to community. None of us is designed to change alone. We are meant to transform in community. And so, when taking the initial flights, we may be able to do that with people we trust. Praying with friends was helpful too. Formal counselling sometimes has its place.
- Taking (what felt like) risks. The risks of getting on a plane are incredibly small. But getting on a plane still feels a risk for those of us who know what it is to be paralysed with fear. Doing it even when scary can bring growth. Having a good reason to get on the plane helps – focusing on the “why” of the journey not just the “how” can be liberating in the extreme. And with each passing flight, it can get a little easier.
- Maintaining the heart. When we have known the depths of fear over substantial periods of time, it can be tempting to run back there again. Little things can – if left unaddressed –lead us back down dark paths. Taking every thought captive and bringing them to the Lord, can help keep our heads in a Christ-focused place.
Can I guarantee I will never get scared again? No. Can I guarantee every flight will be good? Not at all. But can I know the Lord is loving, trustworthy and willing to equip me every step of the way? To that we can all say “yes and amen”.